I was hoping when my day began at 4p.m
The pain would have gone
Hoping that when I finally left my cave, my room
It would feel less painful
Hoping that after drowning myself in my space
Drowning my mind with books and horror movies
I would be less hurt and less angry
I also hoped that after hours of not seeing her
I would smile when I saw her
Hoping that thinking of her dint hurt,
Or make me angry
Guess I hoped for so much
It hurts so fresh
My veins tighten like she just angered me
Would still do what I wished to do to her at first
Suicidal feelings,
Drunkard wishes,
Dreams of ecstasy form drugs I know not
Feelings of wastefulness
Feelings of vengeance and hurtfulness
Monday, February 8, 2010
HEART ACHE P2
I was hoping when my day began at 4p.m
The pain would have gone
Hoping that when I finally left my cave, my room
It would feel less painful
Hoping that after drowning myself in my space
Drowning my mind with books and horror movies
I would be less hurt and less angry
I also hoped that after hours of not seeing her
I would smile when I saw her
Hoping that thinking of her dint hurt,
Or make me angry
Guess I hoped for so much
It hurts so fresh
My veins tighten like she just angered me
Would still do what I wished to do to her at first
Suicidal feelings,
Drunkard wishes,
Dreams of ecstasy form drugs I know not
Feelings of wastefulness
Feelings of vengeance and hurtfulness
The pain would have gone
Hoping that when I finally left my cave, my room
It would feel less painful
Hoping that after drowning myself in my space
Drowning my mind with books and horror movies
I would be less hurt and less angry
I also hoped that after hours of not seeing her
I would smile when I saw her
Hoping that thinking of her dint hurt,
Or make me angry
Guess I hoped for so much
It hurts so fresh
My veins tighten like she just angered me
Would still do what I wished to do to her at first
Suicidal feelings,
Drunkard wishes,
Dreams of ecstasy form drugs I know not
Feelings of wastefulness
Feelings of vengeance and hurtfulness
HEART ACHE P1
Dehydration is what I might end up experiencing
If my eyes don’t stop losing water...
Heart failure is what I might experience
If my hearts doesn’t start functioning well
The sun is up but it is still dark,
My morning hasn’t come yet
It is warm outside but it’s frozen inside
My autumn, summer are showing no signs yet
My glue hasn’t arrived yet
To fix the pieces form a broken vessel in me
If only it was broken by love of a man
Am sure glue would be coming soon
But no no no
I never knew this was how it felt
When your tear a kid form even a crack head mother
To a foster home
I never knew this is how it felt
When your last prison privilege threatens to be taken away from you……
I never knew this is how it felt
When what you own and have worked hard for threatened to be owned by another..
I never knew this is how it felt
To watch the mother of your babies
Walk away with you older brother
I never knew this is how it felt
To watch your man get whisked away by your boss..
I never knew this is how it felt
To not have an option
To be helpless
………to stare helplessly
If my eyes don’t stop losing water...
Heart failure is what I might experience
If my hearts doesn’t start functioning well
The sun is up but it is still dark,
My morning hasn’t come yet
It is warm outside but it’s frozen inside
My autumn, summer are showing no signs yet
My glue hasn’t arrived yet
To fix the pieces form a broken vessel in me
If only it was broken by love of a man
Am sure glue would be coming soon
But no no no
I never knew this was how it felt
When your tear a kid form even a crack head mother
To a foster home
I never knew this is how it felt
When your last prison privilege threatens to be taken away from you……
I never knew this is how it felt
When what you own and have worked hard for threatened to be owned by another..
I never knew this is how it felt
To watch the mother of your babies
Walk away with you older brother
I never knew this is how it felt
To watch your man get whisked away by your boss..
I never knew this is how it felt
To not have an option
To be helpless
………to stare helplessly
yesterday i cried
The last week has been a good week but had its own share of tit bits of ‘small’ drama that I let go, perhaps this pile up of emotion led to my breakdown last night.
Yesterday, I cried...
Tears a sign of unity with the heart,
To some a sign of weakness,
To some a sign of deep emotion
And to me a sign of complete tear...
Yesterday I cried...
If you ask me tears have classifications,
Tears of joy
Of pain, hurt and anger
Of despair
Of excitement, expectation and bewilderment
Yesterday,
I would have cried tears of joy bewilderment
Because I had an exciting day but instead
Bitter tears of pain, hurt and anger rolled down
With every bit of skin they touched
It felt like salt onto a wound
For every tear that left my eye
It felt like the nail was pushed harder.
Am a tough cookie to crack
But yesterday I cried...
I cried at the realization that
I was loving those that hurt while I was hurting those who loved me.
When I realized that a gun was over my head
To le go of one thing that is so intimate
I felt like a mother being touched her last kid by a court of law to an abusive husband
Watching I an do bad all by myself for the fourth or fifth time
Made me feel a slight connect with Jennifer and April
When the people you are supposed to look up to
Are your worst nightmare..
When you love with all your heart
When you can’t stop loving because they are a permanent fixture
Part of you,
When you would swim in an ocean over winter for them
But they wouldn’t swim in a pool over summer for you
I will do one thing ‘you’ taught me mother
Love those that hurt you
And make them question their hate towards you
Make them com back on a bended knee…
Am unclear if am letting go of my clutching straw
But mama it HURTS…
Yesterday, I cried...
Tears a sign of unity with the heart,
To some a sign of weakness,
To some a sign of deep emotion
And to me a sign of complete tear...
Yesterday I cried...
If you ask me tears have classifications,
Tears of joy
Of pain, hurt and anger
Of despair
Of excitement, expectation and bewilderment
Yesterday,
I would have cried tears of joy bewilderment
Because I had an exciting day but instead
Bitter tears of pain, hurt and anger rolled down
With every bit of skin they touched
It felt like salt onto a wound
For every tear that left my eye
It felt like the nail was pushed harder.
Am a tough cookie to crack
But yesterday I cried...
I cried at the realization that
I was loving those that hurt while I was hurting those who loved me.
When I realized that a gun was over my head
To le go of one thing that is so intimate
I felt like a mother being touched her last kid by a court of law to an abusive husband
Watching I an do bad all by myself for the fourth or fifth time
Made me feel a slight connect with Jennifer and April
When the people you are supposed to look up to
Are your worst nightmare..
When you love with all your heart
When you can’t stop loving because they are a permanent fixture
Part of you,
When you would swim in an ocean over winter for them
But they wouldn’t swim in a pool over summer for you
I will do one thing ‘you’ taught me mother
Love those that hurt you
And make them question their hate towards you
Make them com back on a bended knee…
Am unclear if am letting go of my clutching straw
But mama it HURTS…
Saturday, February 6, 2010
love obssesed
yesterday was one unique Friday,people were home early,dinner was made early,kids turned in home early and even homework was done on time.
where i live the estate almost came to a standstill as everyone was glued to their screens to watch episode finale of a soap opera,"storm over paradise" even the shopkeeper made me wait as his eyes were fixated on the tiny black and white screen.truly, not even Obamas speech was given that much attention.
this got me thinking and probing.what is it people watch in this soap operas?many years down the lien we still have and perhaps watch "the bold and the beautiful" and "days of our lives".today a new soap opera commences and your right another marathon begins.
one answer shone over it all ,love,four letters that are yet to be clearly defined in human terms.i also realized how even though men hardly watch soap operas they are still caught up watching reality shows like the bachelor.
the quest and quench to find love,feel love ,experience love and define love is the new trend,in twitter terms we would say TT for trending topic.even local programming has seen itself get caught up in trying to feature 'localized soap operas.
i must add, i have observed how my mother has slowly become a fan or should i say a fanatic of nollywood,west African movies. while quite a while back she could not stand them.the answer was simple,they deviated form cultural and spiritual scripts to love triangles and love fueled drama.there has also been an amazing increase in social dating websites from religious ones to race to regional.it is quite a thriving and booming business is must say.the numbers enrolling into this websites is proof.go through magazine and newspapers and find numerous advertisements for people looking for partners. some psychologists and ordinary people have even taken advantage and started match making firms
yesterday my friends invited me for a road trip on the 14th of February, in order to fill a package of ten which was cheaper.they were four couples thus i turned the offer down saying am single and thus would make us nine and to my shock they had a hook up on stand by.we went ahead and spoke and boy oh boy dint his voice do wonders.so today i woke up and went on a social network to see how he looked like since he already had seen my pictures and i was thrown back.literally.don't get me twisted he wasn't ugly but he wasn't what i fathomed and right there my excitement for valentines was gone.another valentine-less year i bet
i have been looking into my love life for the past two ,three years and i have just realized its time to stop looking.it is not my specialty to look or it is just not the train for me to hop on and ride on.truth is the few times i have hoped on it it crushed !.my mother believes we all have someone somewhere.every many has a missing rib.but i have tried to infuse the theory that some people will end up solo.what if your rib already died at birth or even in the coarse of life before you met.what if your match got aborted .what if ?just what if? what if he is in a monestry?(laughable it is but crucial it also is)
all am trying to drive at is that at times some of us are just good by ourselves.not everyone though.we find ourselves loving other things above our comprehensions.i being the first have found myself in love with my own life that revolves around writing and music.it just occurred to me the other day that twitter has slowly replaced my best friend,there is nothing my twitter page doesn't know about me perhaps!:)
i have thus drawn a conclusion; at times we need to call of the search.not give up but just stop looking and focus on our search on other things like good friends,better career life,better spiritual life.for what is meant to meet or be will be eventually.
happy February everybody.to those in love love more,to those getting dumped,u have a shoulder,mine,to lean on.to those looking for love he/she is staring at you just reach out and finally to those of you like me,we have called of the search!cheers
where i live the estate almost came to a standstill as everyone was glued to their screens to watch episode finale of a soap opera,"storm over paradise" even the shopkeeper made me wait as his eyes were fixated on the tiny black and white screen.truly, not even Obamas speech was given that much attention.
this got me thinking and probing.what is it people watch in this soap operas?many years down the lien we still have and perhaps watch "the bold and the beautiful" and "days of our lives".today a new soap opera commences and your right another marathon begins.
one answer shone over it all ,love,four letters that are yet to be clearly defined in human terms.i also realized how even though men hardly watch soap operas they are still caught up watching reality shows like the bachelor.
the quest and quench to find love,feel love ,experience love and define love is the new trend,in twitter terms we would say TT for trending topic.even local programming has seen itself get caught up in trying to feature 'localized soap operas.
i must add, i have observed how my mother has slowly become a fan or should i say a fanatic of nollywood,west African movies. while quite a while back she could not stand them.the answer was simple,they deviated form cultural and spiritual scripts to love triangles and love fueled drama.there has also been an amazing increase in social dating websites from religious ones to race to regional.it is quite a thriving and booming business is must say.the numbers enrolling into this websites is proof.go through magazine and newspapers and find numerous advertisements for people looking for partners. some psychologists and ordinary people have even taken advantage and started match making firms
yesterday my friends invited me for a road trip on the 14th of February, in order to fill a package of ten which was cheaper.they were four couples thus i turned the offer down saying am single and thus would make us nine and to my shock they had a hook up on stand by.we went ahead and spoke and boy oh boy dint his voice do wonders.so today i woke up and went on a social network to see how he looked like since he already had seen my pictures and i was thrown back.literally.don't get me twisted he wasn't ugly but he wasn't what i fathomed and right there my excitement for valentines was gone.another valentine-less year i bet
i have been looking into my love life for the past two ,three years and i have just realized its time to stop looking.it is not my specialty to look or it is just not the train for me to hop on and ride on.truth is the few times i have hoped on it it crushed !.my mother believes we all have someone somewhere.every many has a missing rib.but i have tried to infuse the theory that some people will end up solo.what if your rib already died at birth or even in the coarse of life before you met.what if your match got aborted .what if ?just what if? what if he is in a monestry?(laughable it is but crucial it also is)
all am trying to drive at is that at times some of us are just good by ourselves.not everyone though.we find ourselves loving other things above our comprehensions.i being the first have found myself in love with my own life that revolves around writing and music.it just occurred to me the other day that twitter has slowly replaced my best friend,there is nothing my twitter page doesn't know about me perhaps!:)
i have thus drawn a conclusion; at times we need to call of the search.not give up but just stop looking and focus on our search on other things like good friends,better career life,better spiritual life.for what is meant to meet or be will be eventually.
happy February everybody.to those in love love more,to those getting dumped,u have a shoulder,mine,to lean on.to those looking for love he/she is staring at you just reach out and finally to those of you like me,we have called of the search!cheers
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
LET’S GIVE MORNINGS WHAT THEY DESERVE Research has proven that 70% of people are grumpy for the first two hours after they wake. What am I saying? T
LET’S GIVE MORNINGS WHAT THEY DESERVE
Research has proven that 70% of people are grumpy for the first two hours after they wake.
What am I saying?
The worst thing anyone wants is a lecture or gossip in the morning….we want to work create and achieve, our minds are on a roll
Take this for example; you wake up in the morning and the first thing you have to encounter is a partners’ lecture or gossip about the secretary last night or the neighbors fight !!argh!!
In this sample, I am trying to drive at radio in the morning.
I bet we all want to wake up to some nice music to get us jumping out of bed and dancing in the shower keep us wake as we decide on what to adorn. We want vibe that will tickle us as we make breakfast; we want jokes and stories that will calm our impatient selves in traffic, stories that will intrigue our reasoning, information that will increase our wit…
Gossip on cheating spouses, tragic relationships, sex is juicy vibe but not for the morning it sets a bad energy for the day. Politics at this hour just makes us bump into the car ahead of us gets us in an agitated mood throughout the day at the though of a corrupt leader, taxation at its highest and global warming that the leaders are not working against..
Radio vibe in morning and theis is before eleven o’clock should just be serene and simple. Top of the mix being good music and lots of it, information that gets you thinking and tickled all day…radio in the morning should be your daily shot of inspiration and kick start…
I hope that this piece not only entertains or expresses my emotion but the emotions of many who feel like I do….well if there are any... more so I hope you as the radio producer, presenter or mogul reading this, will work towards improving radio
Let’s leave gossip for lunchtime and a lousy midday….. And for jobless, idle and focus less people who have nothing to look forward to ,thus gossip in the morning gives theme vibe for the day ‘pardon my rudeness’
Could we consider the crowds that listen to radio in the morning it’s embarrassing to seat next to a very young pupil on the way to school and listening to topics about sex and cheating spouses? We raise children that are sexually reckless and relationship insensitive. It breaks my heart more to hear a 10 year old tell me they don’t want to get married because they do not want to be cheated on!!! What happened to the happily ever after thoughts!!!! Just saying…
Have great radio mornings y’all
Kindly leave a comment/suggestion to this piece
Research has proven that 70% of people are grumpy for the first two hours after they wake.
What am I saying?
The worst thing anyone wants is a lecture or gossip in the morning….we want to work create and achieve, our minds are on a roll
Take this for example; you wake up in the morning and the first thing you have to encounter is a partners’ lecture or gossip about the secretary last night or the neighbors fight !!argh!!
In this sample, I am trying to drive at radio in the morning.
I bet we all want to wake up to some nice music to get us jumping out of bed and dancing in the shower keep us wake as we decide on what to adorn. We want vibe that will tickle us as we make breakfast; we want jokes and stories that will calm our impatient selves in traffic, stories that will intrigue our reasoning, information that will increase our wit…
Gossip on cheating spouses, tragic relationships, sex is juicy vibe but not for the morning it sets a bad energy for the day. Politics at this hour just makes us bump into the car ahead of us gets us in an agitated mood throughout the day at the though of a corrupt leader, taxation at its highest and global warming that the leaders are not working against..
Radio vibe in morning and theis is before eleven o’clock should just be serene and simple. Top of the mix being good music and lots of it, information that gets you thinking and tickled all day…radio in the morning should be your daily shot of inspiration and kick start…
I hope that this piece not only entertains or expresses my emotion but the emotions of many who feel like I do….well if there are any... more so I hope you as the radio producer, presenter or mogul reading this, will work towards improving radio
Let’s leave gossip for lunchtime and a lousy midday….. And for jobless, idle and focus less people who have nothing to look forward to ,thus gossip in the morning gives theme vibe for the day ‘pardon my rudeness’
Could we consider the crowds that listen to radio in the morning it’s embarrassing to seat next to a very young pupil on the way to school and listening to topics about sex and cheating spouses? We raise children that are sexually reckless and relationship insensitive. It breaks my heart more to hear a 10 year old tell me they don’t want to get married because they do not want to be cheated on!!! What happened to the happily ever after thoughts!!!! Just saying…
Have great radio mornings y’all
Kindly leave a comment/suggestion to this piece
empress embarass trouble
They call me empress embarrass trouble
I am that slippery tongue that says f instead of p
When you trying to explain you got late parking
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am that foundation on your shirt when you get home late
I am empress embarrass
I am that hot wife’s friend who joins your office
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am that lipstick on your teeth
The green vegetable on your front teeth
When you meet the one
They call me empress embarrass trouble
I am that curse word that pops out in front of your pastor
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am that loud fart
That trick of mucus on our date
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am the uncomfortable fashionable shoe you have to wear to a cocktail
The uncomfortable wig and unfitting bra
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am that piece of dump that won’t flash down the toilet at your girlfriends’ house party
I am empress embarrass
I am the running stomach at a party
The unexpected menses at a date
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am the juicy vibe in the middle of a match
The sad ending to soap when your homies are home
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am the wallet you forgot in a first date
The drivers license you forgot when you got a car to take her out
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am the latex you do not have when she finally decides to give it to you
I am empress embarrass
I am that torn knickers when he decides to give it to you
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am that hooker who you dint tell you were married
Meets you at the shopping mall with wifey and loudly asks why you no longer comes fro some
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am that that last point you crammed that’s the answer to the simplest exam question
But won’t pop up in the exam room
I am empress embarrass trouble
To be continued………………………………
I am that slippery tongue that says f instead of p
When you trying to explain you got late parking
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am that foundation on your shirt when you get home late
I am empress embarrass
I am that hot wife’s friend who joins your office
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am that lipstick on your teeth
The green vegetable on your front teeth
When you meet the one
They call me empress embarrass trouble
I am that curse word that pops out in front of your pastor
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am that loud fart
That trick of mucus on our date
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am the uncomfortable fashionable shoe you have to wear to a cocktail
The uncomfortable wig and unfitting bra
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am that piece of dump that won’t flash down the toilet at your girlfriends’ house party
I am empress embarrass
I am the running stomach at a party
The unexpected menses at a date
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am the juicy vibe in the middle of a match
The sad ending to soap when your homies are home
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am the wallet you forgot in a first date
The drivers license you forgot when you got a car to take her out
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am the latex you do not have when she finally decides to give it to you
I am empress embarrass
I am that torn knickers when he decides to give it to you
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am that hooker who you dint tell you were married
Meets you at the shopping mall with wifey and loudly asks why you no longer comes fro some
I am empress embarrass trouble
I am that that last point you crammed that’s the answer to the simplest exam question
But won’t pop up in the exam room
I am empress embarrass trouble
To be continued………………………………
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