HEART ACHE P2

I was hoping when my day began at 4p.m
The pain would have gone
Hoping that when I finally left my cave, my room
It would feel less painful
Hoping that after drowning myself in my space
Drowning my mind with books and horror movies
I would be less hurt and less angry

I also hoped that after hours of not seeing her
I would smile when I saw her
Hoping that thinking of her dint hurt,
Or make me angry

Guess I hoped for so much
It hurts so fresh
My veins tighten like she just angered me
Would still do what I wished to do to her at first
Suicidal feelings,
Drunkard wishes,
Dreams of ecstasy form drugs I know not
Feelings of wastefulness
Feelings of vengeance and hurtfulness