FINAL REACTION

Over the last few weeks I have realized the narrow side of the like me species in my country.
I saw the shallow side of our decision making process and reaction protocol.
I realized that we are too impatient to wait to the end
We react at the beginning bringing the show to a halt before it even advances it story line.
I am now losing my trust in the me species to make decisions.

We only see one word out of a 2000 words article and there we are overworking our reaction process and ready to cause terror.
We are deceived by a crack in a building that makes us call the undertaker to unearth people already dead in our minds and ‘prophetic missions’. I mean a certain artist was in critical unresponsive condition in ICU, but a group of people was busy sending r.i.p messages all over. It took the interception of another artist to stop the r.i.ps’ but then again they still held their doubt of his survival.
The worst way to start a story to a Kenyan me like species is, the dress looks funny but you still look hot.” Advice start with the hot then funny otherwise you will have a rehearsed script of anger showering on you. I tried to critic via this channel and boy or boyola have I received my share of words or what. How else are rumors started anyway? Someone overhears or generally misinterprets an incomplete statement and passes it on to the world and being educated species we tend to spruce up vyb. I have been a victim of misinterpretation and ignorant reaction and my oh my…it sucks!
I am just thinking of the katiba that is going on currently and listening to some group of politicians and activists on the campaign trail and this is definitely the chain reaction that is going on. Before I read the constitution I was again a sheep being lead by a psychopath who had wrongly read the draft or reacted at the sight of one word. We saw the word abortion and without reading further or former we are all over like a kid who just learned a new word. I was so embarrassed after reading the draft and realizing how blind and ignorant I have been. Just when the discussions on the draft began as soon as I heard abortion and kadhis court was inputed I was already yelling no way! Trust me I now sound so silly but then damn.i was so bright.and that is the psychology some politicians know kenyans have and are using it to woo them into their camps.. over use one word and people follow you blindly.. People need to listen to the speeches to finality and read the constitution to finality then react
I know maybe know why I failed some exams. I still have my insha and composition books and I look back at them and realized how I gave the teacher 5 pages of figures of speech explaining what he asked not. I had been thoroughly infected by the react quick infection and as I look back now I realize the adverse effects of my ‘lifestyle’.
I have thus taken it upon myself to ‘preach’ or should I say abeg oh my people! We have to start the culture of reacting at finality. We need to severely make it part of our responsibility to transmit rightful and well thought information,it is our human and maybe life forensic duties to watch over our brother in all ways and this includes how we react and act. We need to learn how to read /scheme to finality before we react and act. We need to listen fully to our phone conversations or even music before we go on reacting, acting and even judging.
If a parent is reading this I hope you are having the oh oh moment of realizing where your kids rebellion starts form .maybe you have had them say they feel misunderstood and you are now sure they say so. We see them in a single piercing but go on beseeching without proper communication.i believe strongly that there is a reason for everything ,it maybe is not African but definitely we need to open up our communication channels in our homes,workplaces and even social life. Hearing people out is definitely a huge peace bringing mission as well as a unity stronghold.
Sanity has to be restored .it is better to look like a fool because you are quiet than open your mouth and confirm it.

kwani open mic 411

after a long battle with the very unpredictable kenyan weather it was 6 oclock time to bizaounce form the office...quite early i must say. i was leaving after having a fight or say,stand off with someone...not in the office though on cyber space.technology can be a way for people to fight over misunderstandings and yadi yadi yara

anyway before i knew it i was in town ready for THE kwani open mic,
from the word go this one was different ,
there was alot of hype about this particular event especially on twitter and a tard on #fb i am used to talking about it on the wednesday after its done and guys go like, "oh tell me when the next one is"

i was excited about this one infact it was more exciting owing to the fact it would have been the first,yap the first kwani i have attended without me taking to the stage. its like my 7th ,almost...
i am walking up the stairs and am listening to cindy welcoming the next guest so clearly and i even get to hear the poet starting out. if i was a 'hustler' i would just sit at the stairs and enjoy the perfomance ,my first applause .great sound. i mean the last time we had an artist album launch at sounds the sound was HORRIBLE if even at the foremost you could hear nothing.

i get to the door and warm mr.manager is there to welcome people *read supervise money handling* after giving ceasar his dues am in,
my first turn to the left and i meet @wamathai looking all cheerful and right there a conversation begins,this is one focused guy who is going places i must say at this time mc cindy is chanting something away and @muniu taps me to ask me to practice what i preach...ti hi hi...yes sir i have to at this point is where i meet a guy who i later know is @ngengy

taking the water i preach i rush off to find a spot in the classroom, classroom is where the focused poetry lovers go sit (as mochama,steve,paulo and some hoards nickname it) i.e people who are there to listen and clap when asked too i mean some even have notebooks. trust me when you are on stage you want to focus on this guys they look so interested in whatever is coming out of your mouth .before i get there i am met by kennet B my whagwaan brother.i remember he was my first poet i featured at BC. before long i am at smokers zone.

today the club is FULL,unusually FULL. i am used to having enough space to have a roadshow truck parked somewhere but i like. the ambience is great,the energy is on another level. i sit at smokers and the ladies join me later@katyynyamz @dkathambi they find me mid chanting kennet Bs' poem and am not the only one there is a guy behind me saying word by word well almost all . i look around and actually people with beer bottles on one hand adn a cigarrette on the other are listening laughing at every joke and cheering at every punch line. talk of inspiring a poet.

next is immah who really dint get much attention especially from muthurwa and i love the bartender ..these are zones at kwani ,muthurwa is 4 hip hop guys and poets fans or escorts these are the harsh critics who will boo if you bore them *read dont understand what you are saying * and i love the bartender is the place where guys who are just there to hang out chill and as it was most tweeps were there..maybe it was coincedence or deliberate. but oh well ..

people rated the event according to where they sat..
one @olivermathenge tweeted about too much noise as sharonna seemed to quote each punchline from each perfomer.

the perfomances were great @wanjikumwaurah @wanjeri gakuru were among the female 'veteran' poets to perform there were a couple of new shots who i must unless you know what you are doing please stick to your seats i must mention one who gave us a testimony of his poetry life,or what was that ? and kwani sure does know to give due where its worth cause i could almost count the people who were listening ...
kennet b,number 8,nemesis were among the male ol poets and tony mochama the sic head but passionate poet was there too. and if you dont understand smitta,please dont bitch about him being stupid you look stupid to those who know him, this is to the couple i was near who were busy describing smitta in all words that describe dimwitts.

i must mention chatting progressed and grew with time but i have to be real no poet was subdued and i dont remember hearing any one of them say keep quiet or listen or whatever else that means please listen to me.. if there was please please remind me ASAP.

but here comes the cream of the event there was an incentive 4 the non poetry lovers.. @antoneosoul was performing and i was glad to see @andrew wa mvua who its about time he quit backyard singing and after number 8 curtain raising for him ,@antoneosoul together with his band took to the stage amidst screams and chants of nyenje !nyenje!nyenje which are his way of telling off people*inside joke*. he keeps our music glands waiting as a comedian who is part of his band ,see me you read simiyu takes the stage and TOTALLY cracks us up...tell me of any dry joke he said if you thought he was boring. anyway finally anto takes the mic and you guy! i was sooooooo impresssed,entertained i was in love....his voice,the band and crowd energy was almost a perfect blend actually it was a great blend. nikundyalala was maybe what most people rem.but am sure the other songs sipped deep into your musical glands ,the tribute,tiga kumute to kplc was osome but brief....anto,we want more of that jam.LOL. i must note.
i would go on and on but did you see how the crowd however excited to meet their pals was so engaged and entertained..? *rhetoric question*

it had it blurps but the poetry and music which was agenda of the night was well served. attribute to focused ,precise and targeted,great sound ,great poets and focused attendants but off course if you were seated at i love the barman area you will disagree with me because you heard almost zero...from where i perched it was Osome.

i am bad at meet and greets but i was greatful for all the people especially tweeps i met...xoxo @mkaigwa woop!woop! @warothe challenged my brain while @jamesmurua analyzed my writing @missfattyfatfat ....@locococomoco just lovely we did quite abit of comedy script writing seriously out chats were off the railway... i spotted @mwanikih in the house and am growing tall i must say.@buggz79 had his lines all buttered up to melt and crack me up.. many more people i met forgive me 4 not mentioning all.

kudos poetry event goers. kudos to the poets..and antoneosoul album chep chep! you have a fan /supporter number !

i heard there is a poetry event this friday well lets wait and see bout that details later...

xoxo

IDENTITY BATTLE

I was sure by the time I woke up, the pain would be less
I was sure I would want to take back the words I said last e\night
I was sure my eyes would be white, tiny and normaliaa
But I was humiliated by my own thoughts
I woke up so sore,
My heart seemed like a wound, every beat expelling pain
I showered but couldn’t feel my body
The light hurt my eyes they were burning and tearing
I looked at the mirror and I have never met the person I saw,
I empathized, sympathized
Red eyes, swollen obese eyes, pink nose, and an empty stare

Such was what I could describe to feel
However much more remains undescribed-able
Much more remains unspeakable

I remember trying to read his lips
Hoping that my mind and ears were hearing things
Hoping that my imaginary friend was talking not him

I could related with the dead, deaded by stabbing
I felt a knife, a bullet of words cut through my flesh and
Into depths within

I could tell he was afraid of saying the words he did
I could tell he had been made to say them
I could almost see the voice behind his words and actions
I could tell there were timid actions but firm intentions
I saw his eyes run to his glasses and scare my eye contact away

I tried making him see how I saw it
I wanted him to peep into life through my hole
Take my angle and see the image I saw
I wanted him to feel what I felt inside
Wanted him to see my senses
But no sense came through

I love me
I love me now better than yesterday
But guess what’s he hates the me I love
Hates the way I look
Cares less about how he feels
Cares more about how the world will see him and his descendants
He worships the world so I now believe
Hurt your very own and please the world, your perfect world. .is his world religious mission










Both of you!!!!!, tear me apart
I struggle to love me
Struggle to want me
Struggle to accept me
But it is futile
You shoot it all down.
You have a picture in your mind
A picture you want me to be
A picture you don’t wish I be but demand I be
A picture you think describes what you teach as seen by the world

The force that was behind him was afraid to face me
Knows I will fight worse than an irritated cat
Asleep she is, ruling and ordering from behind.

She arises late, hoping I have left so she doesn’t have to face me
I scratch and yell when I am irritated
But this time it is beyond….i am rendered powerless by my own anger energy
So strong

Why won’t they ask why I do what I do?
Why won’t they see it from my angle?

I cried last night,
Worse than a bereaved, I wailed till I slept
I tried swallowing hard so the pain would ease
I tried eating, drinking away but the pain intensified,
Last night
Was the next round of a consequence of identity fights

So he said, it is a rule and it is final
And I said I hate him
He touched the part I request the world not to touch
I hate you.
I hate that you try making me your perfect dream
I hate the girl in your head you want me to be

Quit my job? Hell no
I am not ending up like you
I will caretaker at the office if I have to, if you kick me out for not quiting
Change my looks to what again?
Denounce me if you wish,
I will not be a devil I prada
I refuse to be the girl at the corner who hates herself
Hates her life and loves the song
When I grow up I want to be, have, go…
I am being having and going now…..

I will take a plane, a bus, a bike
Do exactly as your threat detects
My way or step out
The latter is my choice
And meet me in heaven
Adious amigos mes parentosas.

And when I grow up
I want to be like you
Insensitive, foolish, hurtful and an enslaver

A cat has nine lives
The cat in me has been killed 6 times
2 more to go….and I am not going to stand there
And let you watch me burn

MAKE OVER UPDATE

its a freakn cold day
i hate how the weather is so unpredictable here,yesterday was soo damn hot then today i decide to dress for warm weather and SUPRISE it is so freaking cold....dont be deciveved i have a long skirt but the slit is defying gravity quite abit. my cleavage on the other hand is planning to host a mass parade in protest of exposure to unfriendly weather conditions
it is all part of the make over i told you about,twins! (am tyring to explain to my exposed body parts what is happening,they get very hard and pinchy*read painfull* when no brought up to par)

anyway maybe yesterday marked another huge leap in my make over journey.
i got my hair dyed in the brightest of shades.

i woke up in the morning
and i looked at the mirror with the expression 'do i know you?'
the perfectionist in me had issues here and there ,but the very understanding me prevailed and now am loving the look than ever before
my folks hadn't seen me until much later t the breakfast table and i watched my mums heart decide on beating or stopping.
all in all i bet now am fully makeovered' ,my hair is the most loved element of my beauty being and now it feels fresh and so do i.

i am still doing make up and grooming f.y.i...hala!

feel new,feel good but always feel free..

THE SADDEST BIG SHOTS LOCAL FILM..

grab your popcorn,drink and sit back and enjoy the big shots film..
wait,,you earn too little to afford popcorn,
the only drink you maybe can access ,its free, but not guaranteed is water.
sit back,where? on the small cushion less couch, or on the bed that triples as couch,table and ironing board .

enjoy the movie
featuring the big shots,members of parliament.all 100 plus of them.
the movie has clips of sense,humor,emotional speeches and even non sense,actually alot of non sense
prepare to be tickled,angered,humiliated,oppressed and thoroughly harassed.
watch as creatures with heads operate minus the head contents also known as brains
did i say its a reality program? actually a horror reality film
it is a contest for who oppresses the viewer most ....or mostest
a contest of who leaves with the most possession and power

warning these creatures have no sense of humanity,pity,compassion and love
do not go out 4 autographs or t question any part of their actions
they know no word like looking out for another being
for all they know you can do nothing beyond fitch bit!@

they will shoot you in cold blood if you go near them
kill and bury you with no disregard if someone cares 4 u
if anything they know no other species of value besides them

watch them demand for a second and third round as you bite your nails and drink your sweat in hunger and dehydration
talk of professional teasers..you will drool and get angry all you want but thats just it drool and get angry....

its a unique movie they write the script,act it out ,sub if they wish and they act until the very end of their life. they cast themselves,direct it ,make up .....the whole nine yards is theirs to do
they are awarded or applauded by no one but they fight on with their acting.hate them love them they will laluta contuinua

i call it the most fictitious film because i have never seen anything like it in real life.

we from planet human need to find a way to stop these creatures from any further emotional,physical and mental torture....
am drained thinking of how

so 4 now i sit back and work my back off
so they can have enough money to produce another film
demand more and live best the way they know how.

saddest movie ever.
i vow not to have kids so they dont watch this horror film
i will vote yes for the constitution so i can have dual citizenship and so my kids dont watch this horror film and suffer
if it doesnt go through, am sorry mama,no grandchildren for you

POETRY EVENT

the yap i said THE kwani open mic July 2010 edition is here....
at 7pm club soundd along kaunda street..
featuring all your big names,and neo soul artist antoneosoul will be featured too..
come lets have a phenomenal experience together...


see you there

NOW TO WISH WAMATHAI A HAPPY BLOG BIRTHDAY

I got so caught up in fury and dissapointments i forgot to applaud wamathai for having consistently had a blog for a year..

i applaud all the poets who perfomed amidst the noise....
the organisation was well done,venue selection was well done too
the publicity was great and hence the amazing turnout..
the host,lovely dela was looking awesome..
kudos wamaathai..have many more

i have nothing butlove for wamathai and his blog....