I WAS BLIND NOW I SEE

torn between believing in myself,pleasing the world and failing.
torn between right decisions,sane decisions and humane decisions.

such is the state the young patriotic person in me is facing.
there has been so much hulabaloo about the political realm in Kenya
i have eschewed any form of engagement leaving it to my old folks
and maybe interested elder siblings.

the media has been largely involved and in as much as it is one of my influences i seemed less bothered to involve in any for political vyb. but something has changed.

a few months back when the constitution /referendum began its process i was bored and annoyed at the state of its taking over the media. i thought oh well,they make the rules,we follow ,we break them,get punished and life moves on .

until i realized what you don't know or identify with will harm you as much as it won hurt you.i realized its not about the present its about the future.its about waking up tomorrow and cursing the angels for waking me up.

its not about the party now its about the boring lonely nights tomorrow the ugly streets,injustices,inequality..its about a hurtful tommorrow living like animals ,filth and sadness.

i realized i hold the key to my tomorrow.how i live and love tomorrow is in my hands,head and heart.i then grabbed me a FREE copy of the draft constitution and believe me or not read it like a novel. i remember it was lying on a desk at the office but i felt drawn to it,i couldn't wait for some free time to catch up on my constitution read. so i was in traffic next thing and i proudly and passionately pulled out my copy of the constitution..its ok by now to be doubting my sanity this part..

i started reading the first few words and i couldnt help but pull out my pink highlighter pen. i started underlining word per word in hip hop terms i started lighting up punchline after another.

i would really like to know what the aged man seated next to me was thinking he seemed blowdried by me ..when it was time to pay i had to be tapped severally to get the hint.and the payman was also mortified by the sight. all i know i cared less then for all i knew i was reading the key to not using the PSV again.

as i read through i had many oh oh moments but i also had moments where i thought some people had lied to me i mean the way i knew some bits and clauses was actually not the way they put.i felt some bits were exaggerated and some others under rated.

all in all i feel now i am better placed to be make a decision.i am better placed at engaging in debates.i am better placed to clap or boo when my leader misinterprets or interprets a clause or portion of the draft.

my word to you reader,grab a FREE draft constitution take time read,interpret and be better placed to make a decision. jisomee jitambuie jiamulie now makes alot of sense

WC2010

if you havent gotten used to football vybe yet or havent been attacked by the worldcup fever well,bless your soul
no,really i mean it bless your soul

i watched the first game and i had no idea what to expect in the next
i watched the second and i must say i was really bored and yet again i did not know what to look forward to and so i kept going ,anticipating and hoping

the rest of the matches were hair rising,breath taking and even jaw dropping.

uruguay,north korea,argentina,mexico,slovenia,algeria have been my biggest impressors.though we all expected argentina to win.

this world cup is the tournament of the underdogs with a suprise in every match.i mean who saw brazil,germany,nigeria loosing..

for now maybe all i can say all things are possible ,really possible...and never have i seen the cliche.this is africa anything can happen so real and infact i never saw myself use it...but now i own it i insisit on using it..

so lets wait and see and for the ladies i am working on a plan to update you on every match atleast so you are in scope with the lady who has been distracting adn literally stealing your man away from you..

xoxo reader.

world cup is here...in my homeland....

i like change
i like transformation
maybe its why am so happy of late
today i feel like i won a million dollars literally..

maybe its all been catalysed by the world cup..

i sat in the t.v hall and watched the opening ceremony of the world cup 2010 in awe.
every move made my heart beat faster
my eyes were confused,
between shock,tears and gorging out.
it was too awesome
my mouth wanted to let out a huge scream ,
my mouths' hinges were broken down it just couldnt shut
the choreography!
the technology
the party !
all awesome

i watched the first match with even more excitement
and the first goal,mh the first goal,mh the first goal
felt awesome
i want to feel that way forever.
in Africa for the first time and the first one by an African
define awesomeness..

i wish all other teams luck
and dear readers i hope to share with you the awesomeness of the next 90 days.
xoxo

forever waving the flag of world cup 201o in Africa..
proud to be african

fashion event

finally an event that brings together fasion and jewellery designers and fashion lovers.

an exhibition and yard sale you have anticipated for is finally here..

wait for it....right here..this month..

to register as a designer.

hit me up wario@sanabora.com

and then i hate how

i ,i ,i hate how long you took to finally read my blog,
and then
i hate how you will not comment or even give me feedback
and then
i hate how you take forever to text me back
and then i hate it even more when you find i tired calling and dont call back
and then
i hate how u never comment when i get a new look
at least say its bad or good
and then
i hate when you tell me you need time alone
and don't even tell me why ,leaving me alone
and then
i hate how you tell me maybe
when i ask you something
and then i hate
how you are already shrugging this article away..

and i hate how you act like you don't miss me but have me so fast when you see me..
i hate how am not seeing you smile at this part..

and i hate how
i hate how

I AM

i am not my paternal home area
not my maternal either
i am not the schools i went to
i am not the clothes i buy
i am not the car i use
i am not the service provider i use
i am not the food i eat

i am not off the decisions i have no control over.

i am the hair i wear
i am the shoes i wear,the knickers i flare'
the clothes i desire
i am the hygiene percentage u see in my lifestyle

yes i am the decisions i make
i am not the similarities you compare me to
or the judgements you make of me

for you live not not in me
you asketh not from me
dont lie to me
u judged me
when you first saw me,
my hair,my accent,my diet,my.my.me

i am the decisions i make
not what my decisions seem

mr man and miss preety

5th May 2010


You will have a piece of me when the maggots have had my flesh to their fill.

Harsh words to bid farewell. I wondered, I wondered even more on how they managed to smile at each other after such words.
I did not halt pondering on how People could make rudeness and brutality so cool. She had met him in a bar, she was looking her best, new hairstyle, new clothes, and new fragrance and loud make up. She paid for only two drinks but how she was stupid drank only the waitress serving her could define. A little while and someone were behind moving in a motion best defined as dancing. Another while later a sweaty her could be heard chuckling occasionally letting out a scream of sort which in this case was laughter and a loud "stop! My ribs"

It seemed to be a supper good night for a lady who had accompanied her purse to the bar.
She had friends and her sister around but she felt nothing but sleep around them so she opted to
Have it with her purse.

The guy was ready to leave but little Miss pretty did not even know the meaning of leaving.
Was she too drunk? Would she get home safe? By herself? This must have been some of the questions running through Mr. Man and on that note her sister had shown up angry at her boyfriend and the usual drunk people hormones acting up. Oh, you have company was the look on her face on seeing Mr. Man next to her. Hey, she is my sister was her greetings amidst chuckles and pushing of strings of hair back. She wasn’t going to let madam sister to come and snatch away her catch or angel as her mind recorded after shots of tequila madam siz was ready to go and Mr. Angel was already whispering to her asking where they lived, if they had car and if they would mind being dropped home.

Madam siz was hearing all this and quickly jumped on to say they were ok. Mr. Man was a gentleman enough and let them have it and the final handshake was accompanied by something ...eh, it was paper, dang! It was just a card not money. Not that she needed it but who minds it. days went by, months and as she was keeping busy in traffic emptying her bag which was a mobile house in all senses she saw a card with name that rang a bell but no face came to mind after some hard brainstorming sessions a smile broad enough to signal "I won a jackpot" was gracing her face. the next thing she was outside her gate on phone The guy then gave the very heart warming "ohohh, i remember". The conversation progressed on to a date being set up.

On a random afternoon her phone rang and by the way she was suddenly in front of her closer picking out an outfit. It was a lunch date. He picked her up and off they were to one of her favorite restaurant in town. After drowning a meal spiced with countless complimentary words and occasional tapping of the lap or holding of the hand. it was a nice date at least she could say of the meal but her mind was definitely rolling, arguing if he were the age he looked to be, how he looked minus his spectacles ,in brief he was a guy who made her fidget countless times .

Their parting signified the setting of another date soon after. walking away after the date was easy but showing up for the next made her legs feel a bit numb .one thing was for sure she wasn’t going to meet him in any place where her friends or anyone she knew might be at. He called a little while later and you can only imagine her shock when Mr. Man sent money so she would buy airtime as she was too quiet. A thank you text followed later. Thank you as simple as she could put it was all she could afford at that time. This gesture of altruism happened severally but all sends, had a very thoughtful message to it. She never asked even once but this once she was in a fix as she would call situations she couldn’t denote solutions to, she wrote him a straightforward message with the promise to refund and she hadn’t even received a delivery message he had sent already...

As she withdrew the money, his money, she was shacking worse than a leaf on a stormy night. She wondered how much of this she could take and was she now a "miner" also known as gold digger. She was a pro at taking risks but this one she was willing to stay out but then again she wasn’t willing to lose out on this very rare opportunity I mean manner from heaven doesn’t fall everyday she would be heard saying. Well, at least she remembered something from her Sunday school classes.

Many a times she felt that she was sinking to be the girl she always judged the girl from university who had everything sorted but no one knew how ,the one girl who seemed to spend more than her father and mother salaries combined. But she had no idea what next. Refuse and loose or accept and degrade.

She however was growing everyday from a girl who followed paths and ways long structured to a girl who could research, argue and decide on issue all by her self. She was decision no longer decision taker she was the decision maker. Her ways were now justified by how her mind and heart felt. She dedicated every decision to a feeling to an emotion and even this predicament or blessing she had she was going to liberally decide if she would take in or throw out. She was the talkative type never letting emotions be secrets but she had this one thing this one story that she wasn’t willing to share. He was a story, a full documentary script. She wanted him to be her dirty little secret yet again he was a big secret.

She had learnt how to leave everything she couldn’t handle to Mr. Man he always come through. She had however never pulled a fast one on him that cost him a fortune or made a hole in his pocket instead she had learnt the art of cost cutting by saving and letting him chip in on the topping. She also had never really asked for what was known as a huge favor but this one day she needed this huge favor, alcohol had found him promising to do get her a gadget she much fancied. When she first reminded him he played the blame it on the alcohol game but promised to make it up to her.

this time he had taken so long to make it up to her and her mind her very wild mind wasn’t going to wait any longer she was at the excuse point,” I have never been demanding, there is always the one chance allowance, innnit" you could almost spell out excuses at her when she tried frantically to justified her almost good harmful deeds.

She never plotted to pull him to a snare but she had, she had her fantasy in her hands he walked into this snare amidst him explaining how huge his credit bills, power bills and mortgage bills were driving him insane and how he was operating on low budget. He took time to realize that he had just spent a stash amidst his not stable monthly finances and now he was sliding his hand to her lower body precisely at the bump that made men in cars and on foot to literally slow down and stop occasionally. He placed his hand there as she watched the dealer wrap her new property .her body went into chills and she would have sworn the a.c had been altered. then he gently whispered, "you shall pay heavily, I shall have this mouth watering piece" she chuckled and let out her trademark smile turning to see him as he let go of her rear. he then realized that she was smatter than the movie crafters he admired and he warned 'unless you borrow career tips from usain bolt" another smile and now they were parting, and her soliloquy could have made you mistake her for a heartbroken girl ready to avenge...."you shall have a piece of me when the maggots have licked their fingers clean from my flesh"