DEAR LADIES;

So when do you want to be told to leave? When do you want the go away whistle to be blown so you pack and leave this man?

Someone is about to stop reading his article after this question but I seriously mean it. I think I should even claim copy rights to this statements owing to the many times I have asked this. I am tired of counseling and being there for tones of girls who in my eyes I would call fools for pouring acid on their wounded hearts by hanging on to men who would well of provide script content in a horror movie.

You have had chase for a long time and at the heat of hanging out hanging inside happens. There is the next day conversation maybe of a text with a smiley or ’it was awesome, heavenly and all words with an, it was good meaning. He never replies this, you wait till evening, call he doesn’t pick this goes on for awhile and then the caring you goes into depression trying to imagine what might have happened to him, sleepless nights, long work hours and restless sit ins characterize your day but you dutifully send numerous am worried, I love you, I miss you, are you ok?, did I do something texts, calling as though you are calling the ever busy phone network customer care. Girl! Snap out of it, he got what he wanted and you lay in his to be forgotten bin. By now someone is fidgeting giving me the ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes.’ But I’ll shamelessly tell you a man who wants and loves you will look for you even if it takes him a full page advert in the missing person section!

Next is a girl who has had a relationship with a guy for quite sometime then the lucky male specimen wins the race and she is pregnant. She relays the’ ‘we need to talk’ message and breaks the news to him. He maybe smiling or maybe blowing your head off in his imagination. Confused no way forward message is relayed and in your motherly heart you decide to keep the baby. Good. I say .life is precious but is a baby a ring? is it a commitment certificate binding both of you together? No it is not. Someone is cursing me .but I know you know it is true. So he becomes a man and pays for your delivery and agrees on upkeep money. But as time goes you are continually asking, what’s wrong? you seem distant’ ,or the ‘I miss past times’ and calling him baby ,honey and all edible sweet things while he sticks to your baptismal name ,replying no text picking occasional calls and being too busy. Your friends are telling you they spotted him, hapa kule but you still hold on nagging every juice in him and appearing everywhere you know he is like a debt collector .gal snap out! Concentrate on your bundle of joy and making you happy and better than he found and let you. Sorry, but he likes none of you. A man that loves you or at least his child will not just provide monetary support he will jump high and try scoop the sun when it is too cold just to keep both of you warm.

I am the devils advocate because I deeply think that we trouble ourselves too much for men who do not even care a hair string about us. Truth is if he wants you he will find the axis and rotate on it to find you. If you let him be let him find his way let him draw his house build it and live in it then he may have time to look for you of course that is if he needs you. A quote I like says, let him go if he comes back he is yours if he doesn’t then he was never meant to be. And if he loves you he will look for you.

I AM

i am not my paternal home area
not my maternal either
i am not the schools i went to
i am not the clothes i buy
i am not the car i use
i am not the service provider i use
i am not the food i eat

i am not off the decisions i have no control over.

i am the hair i wear
i am the shoes i wear,the knickers i flare'
the clothes i desire
i am the hygiene percentage u see in my lifestyle

yes i am the decisions i make
i am not the similarities you compare me to
or the judgements you make of me

for you live not not in me
you asketh not from me
dont lie to me
u judged me
when you first saw me,
my hair,my accent,my diet,my.my.me

i am the decisions i make
not what my decisions seem

MY SUPER MAN (RE-POST)

His simple stare and am in dismay-
His first words and I my tummy churns
Turns my head when he asks my name
A fear, a tear an idea
To answer to flatter or to alter

None of my sane
Can decide
How is he so divine?
He has all his words right
His hold so tight
His heart so light
His love so mine

Confused, difused, infused
In space I go tho of satellites I know not

I see and feel him around me
Like the Saturn rings
I hear him form his heartbeat
His beats so rhythmic
Ad tap and sing
Maybe wink at it

I see ice cream all over him
I smell vanilla all over him
I want to devour him whole
I don’t want to
He might not have a reproduction
A clone they say

Mine mind
My thighs
My kind
Served hot arranged neat for him to devour

Fax me his like
So I get it all right
I want him to fork and knife
Dip and slice
Let the juice drip
Let him, it, lick
With small bites
Nibbles and smiles
Chuckles and snuggles
Let the moon fade away the sun rise and set

NO...LADY,NO!

Your decisions
Toward me Your actions
Sends reactions in billions
A thoughts auction proven.
Am tempted to jump of a cannon
Maybe get a frenchan, Welshman, wireman or sportsman
Just clear the destruction in my colon
The popping of my buttons
My words to you like cartoon actions
You have chosen
My ears to deefen
My feelings to deaden.
Steal my diction
And my day darken

Guilt driven, phobia engine
Dislike drunken
Feels like a frozen someone
My homo, a virgin
Written I don’t do women
Rude, but it is as it is written.
I love you but the confusion





Nutzing
Only your decision




Not mine-ay
Don’t change i
I love me men many!

HOUSE SPEAKER ,REALLY? REAR-LY....

If you want to know how much of a looser someone is look at how much truth and rational they expel or shy away from. There we go again hating the truth and adoring crapiola,adoring the very things that put no food, buy no clothes or pay rent. We are a feel good people .. truth is ,actually fact is WE HATE THE TRUTH.
I said this first and most in my social networks almost came for my blond head. Am alive you kow, and I will push on saying we are abit too focus less , cheated and definitely a society in denial of truth.

So am walking home last night and I get a call from a pal who is in the media asking me how and why I havent called to react to the new ban. And being the anti news I am I dint know what she was saying until I got home and watched the news only to hear that radio Africa, kiss 100 f.m to be precise had been banned from covering parliament. I let out the biggest ‘you are bustards’ laughter. The kind you burst out on an idiots face.
I was even embarrassed to hear or accept the thoughts. For real? House speaker for real?

FACTS
Caroline mutoko;
1. Is a trend setter
2. Is a patriot
3. Is an opinion leader and harsh critic
4. Is sane and well educated
5. Besides knowledgeable she is wise
6. Is real
7. Is biased (yes she hold onto her opinion irrespective of the world)
8. She is a real woman, a warrior in making
9. She is focused
10. She has a vision for herself and the world she lives in
11. She dreams of the future and tries to move towards it
12. She is egocentric and egoistic but utado?
The list is endless, these are facts debate all you want but the truth is they are facts. This is a person who has chosen to try shape the generation for future leadership. She has chosen to work towards the future she dreams off. She has chosen not to lie ,to use and feed us with rubbish. Rubbish we can learn form the net, tutors and the world. She has left the bedroom to the bedroom realizing that we are not going to eat our marriages, pay rent with good and constant sex, we are not going to pay fees from bursting our cheating spouses and our country will not be run by perfect marriages and good sex.
I am not her biggest fan ,infact I only listen to her when she is talking politics she makes it juicy, real and rational, the rest of the times she talks to much for a person who is not very talk friendly in the morning but I am definitely a believer in her drive to live the dream. I said in fact number 7 she is biased, I meant it she is. It is maybe her biggest flaw, she does not take opinions from others thus may come across as egocentric and egoistic .she might be wrong at times, she is human dah!. But most times she makes a lot of sense. She is a catalyst to a change process , a catalyst to sane an proper decision making.
She will embarrass you if you have Gucci suit and torn stocking she will yell if you have a torn undy when you are in a prada suit. She will pick you out queuing for relief food when you are a minister earning heavy bucks. Hate or love her she TRIES to maintain integrity, ethics, sanity and humanity in our society more so our leadership.
Am sure the very cowardice and some insane,greedy ,senseless and inhuman member(s) of parliament knows she will burst all your campaign bubbles full of lies, she will not watch you use your power to mislead or garner more power.she will look out for her listeners,maybe not all but most. She will preach all the truth she knows. She goes over board I agree but face it she is most time than not very honest. I watched as twitter and facebook critics supported the ban and went on to beseech her and compare her to other radio presenters who feed us with rubbish and I was like, ok.....i see where we are heaeded ... you know where? TO THE DOGS.
If only we would not see the thorn in the roses and see the roses among the thorns. I would have heard a party today, maybe missed coming to work in celebration had I heard sex, marriages and bedroom vyb were no longer to be broadcasted Now you know why I have earphones on in a boom twaff matatu in the morning Am not a show off, am not damn I just cant stand peoples issues I have my own and no solution Is given really just comparing how many more people have the same issues. I stick to radios that feed me with LOTS AND LOTS of good music and sane vyb or better yet my weird playlist serves me right, truth is people from mahinani listen to her a lot and if we are going to ban her then we are supporting the mashinani people to be misled by the *&^% mps especially now during referendum.
It’s sad that we are even having visions and dreams for our country, leadership and livelihood if we are against change catalysts and truth.

Wait, or is it sabotage from you know who, newly appointed mh.mh.mh, former colleague and now competitor. Working for countrywide radio..ha ha ,forget this me and gossip don’t do so well...

FINAL REACTION

Over the last few weeks I have realized the narrow side of the like me species in my country.
I saw the shallow side of our decision making process and reaction protocol.
I realized that we are too impatient to wait to the end
We react at the beginning bringing the show to a halt before it even advances it story line.
I am now losing my trust in the me species to make decisions.

We only see one word out of a 2000 words article and there we are overworking our reaction process and ready to cause terror.
We are deceived by a crack in a building that makes us call the undertaker to unearth people already dead in our minds and ‘prophetic missions’. I mean a certain artist was in critical unresponsive condition in ICU, but a group of people was busy sending r.i.p messages all over. It took the interception of another artist to stop the r.i.ps’ but then again they still held their doubt of his survival.
The worst way to start a story to a Kenyan me like species is, the dress looks funny but you still look hot.” Advice start with the hot then funny otherwise you will have a rehearsed script of anger showering on you. I tried to critic via this channel and boy or boyola have I received my share of words or what. How else are rumors started anyway? Someone overhears or generally misinterprets an incomplete statement and passes it on to the world and being educated species we tend to spruce up vyb. I have been a victim of misinterpretation and ignorant reaction and my oh my…it sucks!
I am just thinking of the katiba that is going on currently and listening to some group of politicians and activists on the campaign trail and this is definitely the chain reaction that is going on. Before I read the constitution I was again a sheep being lead by a psychopath who had wrongly read the draft or reacted at the sight of one word. We saw the word abortion and without reading further or former we are all over like a kid who just learned a new word. I was so embarrassed after reading the draft and realizing how blind and ignorant I have been. Just when the discussions on the draft began as soon as I heard abortion and kadhis court was inputed I was already yelling no way! Trust me I now sound so silly but then damn.i was so bright.and that is the psychology some politicians know kenyans have and are using it to woo them into their camps.. over use one word and people follow you blindly.. People need to listen to the speeches to finality and read the constitution to finality then react
I know maybe know why I failed some exams. I still have my insha and composition books and I look back at them and realized how I gave the teacher 5 pages of figures of speech explaining what he asked not. I had been thoroughly infected by the react quick infection and as I look back now I realize the adverse effects of my ‘lifestyle’.
I have thus taken it upon myself to ‘preach’ or should I say abeg oh my people! We have to start the culture of reacting at finality. We need to severely make it part of our responsibility to transmit rightful and well thought information,it is our human and maybe life forensic duties to watch over our brother in all ways and this includes how we react and act. We need to learn how to read /scheme to finality before we react and act. We need to listen fully to our phone conversations or even music before we go on reacting, acting and even judging.
If a parent is reading this I hope you are having the oh oh moment of realizing where your kids rebellion starts form .maybe you have had them say they feel misunderstood and you are now sure they say so. We see them in a single piercing but go on beseeching without proper communication.i believe strongly that there is a reason for everything ,it maybe is not African but definitely we need to open up our communication channels in our homes,workplaces and even social life. Hearing people out is definitely a huge peace bringing mission as well as a unity stronghold.
Sanity has to be restored .it is better to look like a fool because you are quiet than open your mouth and confirm it.

kwani open mic 411

after a long battle with the very unpredictable kenyan weather it was 6 oclock time to bizaounce form the office...quite early i must say. i was leaving after having a fight or say,stand off with someone...not in the office though on cyber space.technology can be a way for people to fight over misunderstandings and yadi yadi yara

anyway before i knew it i was in town ready for THE kwani open mic,
from the word go this one was different ,
there was alot of hype about this particular event especially on twitter and a tard on #fb i am used to talking about it on the wednesday after its done and guys go like, "oh tell me when the next one is"

i was excited about this one infact it was more exciting owing to the fact it would have been the first,yap the first kwani i have attended without me taking to the stage. its like my 7th ,almost...
i am walking up the stairs and am listening to cindy welcoming the next guest so clearly and i even get to hear the poet starting out. if i was a 'hustler' i would just sit at the stairs and enjoy the perfomance ,my first applause .great sound. i mean the last time we had an artist album launch at sounds the sound was HORRIBLE if even at the foremost you could hear nothing.

i get to the door and warm mr.manager is there to welcome people *read supervise money handling* after giving ceasar his dues am in,
my first turn to the left and i meet @wamathai looking all cheerful and right there a conversation begins,this is one focused guy who is going places i must say at this time mc cindy is chanting something away and @muniu taps me to ask me to practice what i preach...ti hi hi...yes sir i have to at this point is where i meet a guy who i later know is @ngengy

taking the water i preach i rush off to find a spot in the classroom, classroom is where the focused poetry lovers go sit (as mochama,steve,paulo and some hoards nickname it) i.e people who are there to listen and clap when asked too i mean some even have notebooks. trust me when you are on stage you want to focus on this guys they look so interested in whatever is coming out of your mouth .before i get there i am met by kennet B my whagwaan brother.i remember he was my first poet i featured at BC. before long i am at smokers zone.

today the club is FULL,unusually FULL. i am used to having enough space to have a roadshow truck parked somewhere but i like. the ambience is great,the energy is on another level. i sit at smokers and the ladies join me later@katyynyamz @dkathambi they find me mid chanting kennet Bs' poem and am not the only one there is a guy behind me saying word by word well almost all . i look around and actually people with beer bottles on one hand adn a cigarrette on the other are listening laughing at every joke and cheering at every punch line. talk of inspiring a poet.

next is immah who really dint get much attention especially from muthurwa and i love the bartender ..these are zones at kwani ,muthurwa is 4 hip hop guys and poets fans or escorts these are the harsh critics who will boo if you bore them *read dont understand what you are saying * and i love the bartender is the place where guys who are just there to hang out chill and as it was most tweeps were there..maybe it was coincedence or deliberate. but oh well ..

people rated the event according to where they sat..
one @olivermathenge tweeted about too much noise as sharonna seemed to quote each punchline from each perfomer.

the perfomances were great @wanjikumwaurah @wanjeri gakuru were among the female 'veteran' poets to perform there were a couple of new shots who i must unless you know what you are doing please stick to your seats i must mention one who gave us a testimony of his poetry life,or what was that ? and kwani sure does know to give due where its worth cause i could almost count the people who were listening ...
kennet b,number 8,nemesis were among the male ol poets and tony mochama the sic head but passionate poet was there too. and if you dont understand smitta,please dont bitch about him being stupid you look stupid to those who know him, this is to the couple i was near who were busy describing smitta in all words that describe dimwitts.

i must mention chatting progressed and grew with time but i have to be real no poet was subdued and i dont remember hearing any one of them say keep quiet or listen or whatever else that means please listen to me.. if there was please please remind me ASAP.

but here comes the cream of the event there was an incentive 4 the non poetry lovers.. @antoneosoul was performing and i was glad to see @andrew wa mvua who its about time he quit backyard singing and after number 8 curtain raising for him ,@antoneosoul together with his band took to the stage amidst screams and chants of nyenje !nyenje!nyenje which are his way of telling off people*inside joke*. he keeps our music glands waiting as a comedian who is part of his band ,see me you read simiyu takes the stage and TOTALLY cracks us up...tell me of any dry joke he said if you thought he was boring. anyway finally anto takes the mic and you guy! i was sooooooo impresssed,entertained i was in love....his voice,the band and crowd energy was almost a perfect blend actually it was a great blend. nikundyalala was maybe what most people rem.but am sure the other songs sipped deep into your musical glands ,the tribute,tiga kumute to kplc was osome but brief....anto,we want more of that jam.LOL. i must note.
i would go on and on but did you see how the crowd however excited to meet their pals was so engaged and entertained..? *rhetoric question*

it had it blurps but the poetry and music which was agenda of the night was well served. attribute to focused ,precise and targeted,great sound ,great poets and focused attendants but off course if you were seated at i love the barman area you will disagree with me because you heard almost zero...from where i perched it was Osome.

i am bad at meet and greets but i was greatful for all the people especially tweeps i met...xoxo @mkaigwa woop!woop! @warothe challenged my brain while @jamesmurua analyzed my writing @missfattyfatfat ....@locococomoco just lovely we did quite abit of comedy script writing seriously out chats were off the railway... i spotted @mwanikih in the house and am growing tall i must say.@buggz79 had his lines all buttered up to melt and crack me up.. many more people i met forgive me 4 not mentioning all.

kudos poetry event goers. kudos to the poets..and antoneosoul album chep chep! you have a fan /supporter number !

i heard there is a poetry event this friday well lets wait and see bout that details later...

xoxo